3.10.2010

A little piece of my heart...

Wasn't exactly sure what to title this post because I am not exactly sure what I am going to be typing.  I am just kind of at a loss and just need to get my thoughts out of my head.  I am so bothered by the loss of Layla Grace.  I can't get it out of my head not that I want to forget it but I can't seem to move on from it right now.  I don't even know this little girl but my heart is continuing to break everytime I read or hear something else about her.  I look at Wilkins and I see Layla Grace and how easy this could have been my child.  I don't know how the Marsh family is coping with this loss.  I believe in God and I believe he has a plan for everyone but I just can't fathom this.  I want to do something.  I want to help somehow.  I know there is really nothing that I can do but pray and try to keep her legacy alive by telling others about her story.  I know that I can honor her memory by making the most of every moment I have with Wilkins and my family. 
I don't know that I wouldn't be angry with God for taking my little girl from me if I were Layla's mom.  I don't know what emotions I would be feeling.  I know how I am feeling so confused right now.  Why does God have to take this little girl whom has done no harm to anyone but let mean people live?  This little girl didn't even get to go to school for the first time, her mother will never get to see her little girl go to school for the first time.  I know that I am not guaranteed any of these things either but I do get to have another day with my little girl.  Why? Why do things like cancer exist?  Why do little angels like Layla Grace have to suffer?  It isn't fair!!  I will continue to try to raise awareness about Layla Grace and her fight against Neuroblastoma.  Everytime I start to complain about something that Wilkins does, I will try to stop myself and just remember how lucky I am that I have Wilkins. 

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