Still have Layla on my mind and in my heart...

It is absolutely amazing to me how much of an impact this little girl has had on me.  I literally check everyday to see if there are any new tweets, messages, etc and today I got to hear Layla's dad talking on one of the local radio stations in Texas (http://www.krbe.com/  Laylasupdate).  This family is abolutely amazing.  I don't think I can express in words how much they have touched me and continue to touch my heart still.  It is very humbling to hear people like them speak about their experience and how they are handling it. 

I find myself still continuing to tell Layla's story.  I am a manager at Cracker Barrel and as you can imagine I come in contact with tons of people on a daily basis.  It seems like just about everyday I have told about Layla and her amazing family and then wrote down on a piece of paper how to read about it.  Just today I was talking to one of my good friends, who happens to also be a manager, about Layla and how much it has affected me.  I was literally in tears in the office telling him about her and how we never think that something like that could happen to us.  I bet the Marsh family never expected this to happen to them and in the blink of an eye the whole world flipped upside down.  I know I have said this a million times but I truly mean it...I don't know how they handle this with such strength, courage, grace, and diginity.  The words written and spoken by both Ryan and Shanna are put into such a way that just pulls you in and feel like you are a part of their family. 

I will continue to tell their story and help them raise awareness for Neuroblastoma.  Layla will always hold a special place in my heart.  Each time my frustrations start to surface with my own 2 year old daughter I will take a deep breath and remember Shanna's post: 

"The house is quiet. I am able to go through the motions of laundry, dishes, cooking and picking up without interruptions. But I WANT interruptions. I WANT Layla to be under my feet asking for cookies. I WANT to hear her playing with her toys. I WANT to take 45 minutes to unload the dishwasher because she keeps trying to help. For every time I uttered the words “I just can’t get anything done with these kids under my feet all day” I am eternally regretful. The days that I looked forward to naptime so I could get a grocery list made, or finally fold all the piles of laundry…I regret those days too. If I could do it all again, I’d enjoy EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT I had with her. I would never wish for her to sit still or take a nap or go to bed early. I would never look forward to the days when she could sit through an entire episode of Dora silently. I would treasure every second with her."

This one post struck a nerve with me and has resonated with me since the day I read it.  As mothers, I think that we all have these thoughts.  As readers of this blog, I think we are all realizing the importance of embracing everything, even the moments when we are at our wit's end.

I continue to pray for the entire Marsh family and friends daily.  The vision I have of Layla now is spinning in circles with her arms held out wide, palms up, head back, smiling with no pain or worries, in a field of wild flowers with all the other children God has taken home.


  1. I have read the whole blog too. And that is the post that I can't stop thinking about. Because it is so real in daily life when they are driving us crazy we don't stop and think they could be gone FOREVER then how would we feel.. It can bring down to earth quick..

  2. Thanks so much for commenting on my blog. That post of Shanna's you quote also really got to me - especially since I have three kids and it's always LOUD in here. Beautiful post you wrote too!