Its only getting harder...

and harder. 

I knew that LeAnne moving was going to be hard but I never realized how hard it has and is going to be.  I literally cry at the thought of them moving.  I cry because i am not going to see the kids on a regular basis.  I cry when I talk about it with mom and Haley.  I cry when the kids mention moving.  I just didn't realize it would be so hard before they even packed anything up.

Will has been with us for the past couple of days and I have come to the realization that he doesn't really get it.  He said something about moving and said that they were going to come back to Murfreesboro every weekend.  I cried while I explained to him that he wouldn't be coming back every weekend.  I sobbed after I got done talking to him (he couldn't see me) because I know how much he is going to miss living here and being around Lucas, Logan, and Wilkins.  And how Levi won't even remember being around Will as he gets older except for on holidays and special occasions. 

This is, by far, the hardest thing I have had to go through in quite sometime.  I got boxes for LeAnne from work yesterday and I cried while I put them in my car.  I want them to be happy but I also want to be completely selfish at the same time.  Is that even possible?!  I know I am rambling but this is where my thoughts are leading me.

I never thought when I scheduled my vacation (starts tomorrow) that it would be to help my sister pack!  I really don't know if I can.  I don't know if I can help put the boxes in the car and watch them drive off to Alabama.  (once again the tears are rolling down my face)  I know some people may think that we are nuts for being so emotional about this but if you know us you know that my sisters are not only sisters...they are truly my best friends.  I feel like my arm is being ripped from my body...my heart hurts so bad right now. 

Saturday is getting here way too soon...it doesn't look like things are going to change.  It looks like it is going to happen after all.  For all of you in Alabama, LeAnne is an acquired taste.  She can be the most impatient pain in the butt and have you laughing so hard you are crying.  She is not always the most tactful person in the world but she has a good heart.  She can yell and scream at her kids all she wants but she will lay down her life for any of them. 

I can't type anymore right now because I have tears and snot rolling down my face (I know...GROSS) and I just need to get myself together.  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for the next week or so cause it ain't getting any easier...

It's been so long....

....since I have blogged!  The problem is I have been in kind of a funk lately.  I have put off blogging because I really haven't had anything great to talk about but you all read the good things so now you will have to read the not so good things.

I am sure you have all heard by now that LeAnne is moving back to Alabama :(

I, of course, don't want her to move but if it is what is meant to be then I can accept it.  I can't imagine her not living right down the road and I can't imagine not seeing the kids basically every single day (tears)!!  What breaks my heart the most is that Wilkins won't have her Yaya here.  She is so attached to LeAnne and I know that once LeAnne moves almost 3 hours away the relationship between them won't be the same.  It won't be like it was when she lived there before because now all of her kids will be in school, I work and go to school full time so we can't just pick up and go when we want to. 

I, only hope and pray that one day they will move back to Tennessee.  What is meant to be will be.  That's my motto...if things aren't working out smoothly then maybe you are going against God's plan.  Things come together when it is right.

On to something else now...I am contemplating getting my own place.  Those of you who don't know I live in the upstairs of my parent's house.  When Wilkins was small it just made more sense because my mom was coming to my house @ 4am so that I could go to work.  Though my hours haven't really changed Wilkins is a little older and it is time for us to strike out on our own.  Without the help of my mom and my sisters I wouldn't even be able to work where I work so now I am weighing out my options.  If I have to be at work at 5am then can I stand taking Wilkins to my mom's to spend the night?!  I am just going to see what happens for now...if it is meant to be it will.

My mind is all over the place right now with work, school, and home.  Such big decisions to be made that I am afraid I might make the wrong one.  Trying to find the path that is right for Wilkins and myself....