It's been so long....

....since I have blogged!  The problem is I have been in kind of a funk lately.  I have put off blogging because I really haven't had anything great to talk about but you all read the good things so now you will have to read the not so good things.

I am sure you have all heard by now that LeAnne is moving back to Alabama :(

I, of course, don't want her to move but if it is what is meant to be then I can accept it.  I can't imagine her not living right down the road and I can't imagine not seeing the kids basically every single day (tears)!!  What breaks my heart the most is that Wilkins won't have her Yaya here.  She is so attached to LeAnne and I know that once LeAnne moves almost 3 hours away the relationship between them won't be the same.  It won't be like it was when she lived there before because now all of her kids will be in school, I work and go to school full time so we can't just pick up and go when we want to. 

I, only hope and pray that one day they will move back to Tennessee.  What is meant to be will be.  That's my motto...if things aren't working out smoothly then maybe you are going against God's plan.  Things come together when it is right.

On to something else now...I am contemplating getting my own place.  Those of you who don't know I live in the upstairs of my parent's house.  When Wilkins was small it just made more sense because my mom was coming to my house @ 4am so that I could go to work.  Though my hours haven't really changed Wilkins is a little older and it is time for us to strike out on our own.  Without the help of my mom and my sisters I wouldn't even be able to work where I work so now I am weighing out my options.  If I have to be at work at 5am then can I stand taking Wilkins to my mom's to spend the night?!  I am just going to see what happens for now...if it is meant to be it will.

My mind is all over the place right now with work, school, and home.  Such big decisions to be made that I am afraid I might make the wrong one.  Trying to find the path that is right for Wilkins and myself....

A little piece of my heart...

Wasn't exactly sure what to title this post because I am not exactly sure what I am going to be typing.  I am just kind of at a loss and just need to get my thoughts out of my head.  I am so bothered by the loss of Layla Grace.  I can't get it out of my head not that I want to forget it but I can't seem to move on from it right now.  I don't even know this little girl but my heart is continuing to break everytime I read or hear something else about her.  I look at Wilkins and I see Layla Grace and how easy this could have been my child.  I don't know how the Marsh family is coping with this loss.  I believe in God and I believe he has a plan for everyone but I just can't fathom this.  I want to do something.  I want to help somehow.  I know there is really nothing that I can do but pray and try to keep her legacy alive by telling others about her story.  I know that I can honor her memory by making the most of every moment I have with Wilkins and my family. 
I don't know that I wouldn't be angry with God for taking my little girl from me if I were Layla's mom.  I don't know what emotions I would be feeling.  I know how I am feeling so confused right now.  Why does God have to take this little girl whom has done no harm to anyone but let mean people live?  This little girl didn't even get to go to school for the first time, her mother will never get to see her little girl go to school for the first time.  I know that I am not guaranteed any of these things either but I do get to have another day with my little girl.  Why? Why do things like cancer exist?  Why do little angels like Layla Grace have to suffer?  It isn't fair!!  I will continue to try to raise awareness about Layla Grace and her fight against Neuroblastoma.  Everytime I start to complain about something that Wilkins does, I will try to stop myself and just remember how lucky I am that I have Wilkins.