Tiny kink in my armor....

....yes, kinks do exist in my armor!  I have a pretty hard exterior and I will, in the end, ultimately regret this post if I do publish it! 

Don't get me wrong there are definitely perks to being a single mom.  The biggest thing is I can raise her however I want to!!  There is no man to tell me what should be done, no in-laws to add their two cents, no competing between grandparents, etc...  It is just me and her against the world!!

The kink... no one to share "those" moments with.  No one to be as excited as or disappointed as the other parent would be.  The older Wilkins gets the more I recognize "those" moments, the more I ponder what is missing.  Going to Disney World was absolutely wonderful, but it was also very depressing at the same time.  Haley and Bradley would get up and go do their thing with Lucas and Logan, Michael would get up and take Bryson and Will out early while LeAnne slept in, and there I was with a sick little girl.  Don't get me wrong my mom offered to stay in the room with Wilkins and I am sure everyone would have stayed at the hotel that day if I had asked but that just wasn't an option for me.  However, it would have been nice to have someone to help share the load with.  Someone to go wash the clothes that Wilkins threw up all over or someone to help clean Wilkins up when she had poop all the way up her back.  I had my family but sometimes I feel that Wilkins and I are a burden instead of a daughter or sister and grandaughter or neice. 

So yes there is always a kink...nothing is ever perfect.  I know the grass is always greener on the other side.  If I had someone to share in "those" moments I would probably be complaining about that to.  Truth be told I think that I would rather be complaining about that than experiencing "those" moments alone....

1 comment:

  1. Brandy we have never thought of Wilkins as a burden. Maybe you sometimes but never Wilkins..JK LOL
    I know this is not how you would have imagined raising a child to be but keep your head up. You have to play the cards you were dealt. You are doing a great job.