3.30.2011

An apology...

Sorry to everyone I roped into this photo challenge...please forgive me! 

I didn't realize that when I started this I would not only be working 50+ hours a week (I was on vacation when I initially started this), being a full time student (requires me to write a 3 page paper every week for 4 weeks and then an 8 page paper on the 5th week), planning (and packing) for our Disney vacation, being a full time mom (to an unpatient 3 year old) on top of everything else that I deal with daily!!  So I am just gonna say that I am taking an extended leave from this photo challenge but I promise I will finish when I return from vacation. 

This may be the last post you see from me for a couple of weeks unless I get a wild hair and post from Disney World just to show you how much fun we are having (sorry Haley and Kiki)!!

On a more serious note...I just need to vent for a minute.

How can any one person not have one bit of emotion in their bones?!  I don't know how to talk to someone like that...I don't know how to even deal with someone like that.  If you have ever been around me or my sisters then you know what I mean.  We show every emotion from crying with sympathy for someone else's pain to laughing our heads off at one of our stupidest moments. 

It is so frustrating to me...I invest so much into having relationships with people only to be looked at like I am an idiot.  I try to do what I can to be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a person to laugh with...and I get nothing.  Without emotion there can be no connection.  Without trust then there can be no relationship.  Without both involved giving then there can be no friendship...you are just throwing it all away for no reason but pure stubborness.  If you don't open yourself up to the possibility of friendship then you can never experience the true joy of having it. 

To this person:

You are such a beautiful person on the outside but without beauty on the inside it doesn't matter.  My words may not always come out right and my frustration may take over but please know that you are  a huge part of my life.  Keeping secrets and closing yourself off will only hurt you in the long run.  I am tired of going round and round with you.  I have been where you are and I am only trying to tell you to stop and look around.  Realize what is important to you before it is too late.  Let people know you care about them...not just with words but true sincerity in your words and actions.  Don't just tell us what we want to hear but be honest with us.  If you can't trust that we will be here no matter what then you are going to be a very lonely and miserable individual one day.  Everything I have done and am doing is only because I love you and don't want to see you doing something you can't take back.  I am laying this down...you know where I stand and you know what you need to do in order to get things to where they need to be.  Remember I am not mad but hurt.

Now only talk of Disney World...

Mickey Mouse, we will be there in a week!!  YIPPEEE!!!

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